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Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Guacamelee! tastes like crap to me

Ugh... I am really trying to like Guacamelee!... after all the glowing reviews and the cross-play feature-- not to mention cross-buy, where you buy the PS3 version and get the Vita version also-- I downloaded it from the Playstation Store-- there is no free demo, but when you buy it, it says free demo and full game unlock as part of the package. Basically, they were going to release a free demo but decided not to. Very shady, Sony or developer Drinkbox Studios--whoever decided that... way to be slimy right off the bat.

Had I been able to play a free demo, maybe I would have realized how cruddy the gameplay actually is. The game looks really good, and is smoothly animated. but the actual GAMEPLAY sucks. Bad.

This is from a tutorial early in the game. If the combo button pressing above looks like fun to you, then this may be the game for you. But trying to press this combo in 2 seconds is anything but fun for me.

The analogue stick and button pressing is just ridiculous. It is laggy and not consistent at all. This isn't fun, Drinkbox Studios, it's just PEDANTIC. Imagine having to do run-into-the-ground-by-every-game-now God of War style quick-time moves-- ALL THE TIME. That's about my personal vision of video game hell.

Truly such a shame. The animation style is really nice, and there is smoothness in the movement, but it all seems wasted. I will keep playing, hoping it will get better, but so far Guacamelee! is a waste of 15 bucks.


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